Live music at funeral and memorial services

What does a live music performance bring to a funeral or memorial service?

Some of the most memorable funeral and memorial ceremonies I have conducted have included live music performances. Some have been by professional choirs or soloists hired for the occasion, and some have been by friends or family members, but each has added a very personal touch to the proceedings. 

Having live music can enhance the emotional journey of the attendees, because when musicians give a performance, they create a special moment that everyone in attendance shares.  This sense of connection contributes to the overall sense of solidarity and support, reinforcing the communal nature of a funeral or memorial service.  In addition, where a loved one’s favourite song is performed live, whether it’s a classical piece or a rendition of a favourite pop or jazz song, the performance acts as a reminder of happier times.

As an independent celebrant, I also like the fact that a live music performance can serve as a bridge between secular and religious elements: if the spoken words of a ceremony concentrate on commemorating a life rather than teaching a doctrine, the inclusion of a performance of a hymn or religious song can bring reassurance to those who find solace in tradition, and who welcome an element of spirituality.

Last year, I had the privilege of conducting a ceremony featuring a performance by The Big Gospel Choir who sang as the mourners entered, instantly creating a warm, supportive atmosphere. More recently, this year I have had the good fortune of working with the bagpiper Regina and saxophonist Anne-Marie, each of whom led their respective funeral cortege up the driveway of the crematorium, playing as they accompanied the hearse, and then played again as the mourners moved through to the flower terrace at the end of the ceremony.  In all three cases the live performances added an extra level of poignancy and respect.

On a couple of occasions, I have been in the lucky position of seeing a son, daughter, grandchild or friend play or sing in tribute to their parent, grandparent or best friend. These performances not only honoured the one who had died, but also created moving memories for the family and friends in attendance. Indeed, on each occasion, the live performance was one of the highlights of the service and, long after the service had ended, the memory of it continued to bring comfort and support to those who were grieving.

If the idea of incorporating a live music performance into a funeral or memorial service appeals to you, please visit my page 'Creating and capturing memories at funeral and memorial services' for links to choirs, soloists, pianists, quartets and jazz vocal groups, or get in touch for a chat so that together, we can explore this powerful way of honouring your loved one's memory  - I would love to hear from you.

Blog post by Clare Oldfield, a funeral celebrant based in St Albans and the founder of Tapestry Funerals. I specialise in crafting bespoke ceremonies: whether you’re planning a funeral or a memorial service, my aim is to help you create a ceremony that feels personal, cathartic, and fitting for your family.